In a bold move that will certainly excite politicians, America will almost drop a nuclear bomb on its own soil, catching it with a huge net at the last second, while explaining that the FBI, the federal bureau of intimidation, has thwarted the terrorist plan to end life on earth. Immediately following the big “catch,” Americans will be forced to buy terrorist insurance, a rider that costs $500.00 per month that attaches to their homeowner’s insurance, car insurance, renters insurance, health insurance, and any other insurance policy already in place. Some GOP insiders say this nuclear bomb net is not full proof, and hasn’t been tested properly, and they’re suggesting a different staged attack to thwart, like a fake nuclear plant meltdown or a strange strand of ebola that has no symptoms but for which all Americans MUST be force-inoculated with a swine/bird flu/ebola flu combo vaccine made by Merck.
Democratic leaders are balking at the Republican suggestions, saying the almost nuclear incident is a better idea and will generate more revenue from moronic Americans, who buy anything that quells their greatest fears. Now key Demoncrats and their constituents are talking in the “Green Room” (the situation room) about plan “B” which is to follow through on the Agent Orange Soda program for public schools that have large numbers of kids whose parents are on Government aid programs, like food stamps, unemployment or welfare. This will quickly help cure the population problem in America by “cancer-ing” off the lower echelon of peons and paupers who are a “drain” on society, food, resources, fuel and basic utilities. Agent Orange soda, in case you were wondering, contains highly concentrated but flavorful amounts of 2,4-D, glyphosate, petroleum-based food coloring, aspartame and HFCS.
WALL STREET RUNNING MASSIVE “PUMP-N-DUMP” SCHEME FOR 2016
Part of the whole staged terror “event” will, of course, include a massive bank run and stock market crash. This will be bigger than anything ever witnessed by anyone in the world. The banksters and globalist gangsters that help propel the “Obamanation” into office want to be paid back with power, money and total control. This bank run and market crash, they’re saying, is fail-proof for the 1% of the 1% who will be hiding out on remote islands or at Camp David when the SHTF. Wall Street is playing all their cards correctly in preparation for the FAKE ISIS attack and selling put options low for all their buddies. This is gaining them wide exposure on stocks they’re “bullish” on with the added benefit of owning the stock later at a price below current market. It’s all smoke and mirrors and a huge P&D – – “Pump and dump” ponzi-style rigged scheme with misleading positive statements (chum) all over the internet for potential investors to “bite.” Once it’s all grossly overvalued by American idiotic investors, the bottom will drop out and all investors who aren’t privy to all the years of previous fraud in the markets will lose every cent they ever had. It’s just recycled microcap stock fraud with chop stocks, except this will be the greatest ponzi scheme Wall Street ever ran. Cash is about to become illegal for middle class and lower class Americans if the bill that already passed the Senate survives the House. Obama and Hillary vow not to veto and Rand Paul is supposed to be under house arrest during the crisis so he can’t tie up time on the Senate floor protesting the ultimate ISIS PONZI SCHEME EVENT.
If you weren’t sure, ISIS is sissy spelled backwards, since 9/11 scared America so bad that they donated their Constitution to the government tyranny that vowed to protect them from the perpetrators of building seven, who set up the demolition and timed it perfectly with the private planes that were flown into the other two skyscrapers. All SISI yellow-spined Americans are being told they can save money on their swine/bird flu/ebola vaccine schedule of 12 vaccines if they take all 12 at once at their nearest pharmacy before the staged attack occurs. The inoculation is also promised by the CDC to make humans immune to nuclear radiation and it quells the fear of having terrorists all around you all the time, which is also ironically called SISI-syndrome or if you spell out the acronym ISIS you get IDIOPATHIC SYNDROME of INESCAPABLE STUPIDITY.
Wolfe Blitzkrieg and Anderson Stupor are reporting incessantly about the Jade Helm rescue mission, which will include supplies being delivered to all the closed Walmarts where FEMA will administer the well-panicked public with the swine/bird flu/ebola jabs. Each middle and lower class American, with or without a green card, will get free Dunkin Donuts and a cup of Maxwell House coffee compliments of the Bush Administration, which created the Patriot Act in the first place, that brought all of this to “fruition.”
Obama, in the name of carrying on the Bush legacy of fake wars and playing on the emotions of terror-frenzied Americans, has promised to make organic food illegal so that there will be more water for the GMO corn and soy, which will be the only food available during the war on ISIS and SISI. All funds raised by the fifty year fake war on cancer and the fake war on drugs will be used to keep the politicians safe from any rogue conspiracy theorists who think politicians plan evil crap to make money.
This has been a public service announcement in hopes of helping people laugh their way through the absurdity of Hillary (Monsanto) and Jeb (Dick Cheney) being the two worst choices for the oval office in the history of the USA. Remember, don’t vote for ISIS or SISI in the next election, don’t let your children drink AGENT ORANGE SODA and for all intents and purposes, don’t drink tap water and you may just make it through whatever staged event they’re planning for the zombie apocalypse.